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Eight Fun Things to Do with a Halloween Pumpkin

1. Most people don t need much help with picking the perfect pumpkin buy your pumpkin a week or two before Halloween to get the greatest selection, but don t carve it until a day or two before the Big Event. Watch out for signs of rot!
Notice any scars the pumpkin has. Some can add the perfect element to your design. Others, well .
Pick your pumpkins based on what you plan to carve on them. If you will be using a stencil to carve your pumpkin, select a pumpkin that is large enough and as close to the same shape as the pattern. Also note how solid the stem is. Is about to fall off? Has it fallen off already? Do you need a stem?

2. Paint your pumpkins different colors. Use flat, latex paint. Black works especially well. Hold some paint back to touch up your pumpkins after carving them.

3. Carving your pumpkin
Clean your pumpkin thoroughly with a wet rag or towel.
If you draw a design on the pumpkin before you carve it, use a red, orange or yellow marker. This ll be harder to see when you re carving, and harder to see once you re finished too! If you want to use a black marker, use one that s washable so you can easily remove any leftover marks.

To carve your pumpkin, first use a long, thin-bladed knife to cut out the top of the pumpkin around the stem. The hole should be large enough to allow you to scoop out the guts. A hole with five or six-sides works best. As you cut this, angle the knife to keep the lid from falling in. Use your hand or a spoon to scrape the inside walls of the pumpkin clean.
Make sure that you have scraped the bottom of the pumpkin flat. If you re going to light it with a candle, it will sit level in the pumpkin. A candle, placed in a clear glass jar or candle holder is safer, more wind-resistant and will last longer.
An alternative method of carving your pumpkin is to carve it out from the bottom. Lay the pumpkin on its side after cutting out a hole from the bottom. Scrape the insides clean, then either sit it on top of a light bulb or candle. You might also use a colored light bulb for a unique effect.

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If you want to make perfectly round holes in your carving, try a length of pipe with thin sides. If you can find one with one end cut at an angle, it ll work even better. Simply place the end where you want your hole to be and tap the pipe with a hammer or mallet. Voila! The perfect hole. You can use metal cookie cutters to create other fun shapes.
Closely supervise all pumpkin carving a large percentage of Halloween injuries occur here.
Find a great location for your jack-o-lantern and show off your hard work!

4. When carving a face into your pumpkin, carve the eyes in such a way that you can insert glass marbles. These will reflect the light from inside the pumpkin and throw shadows that add a perfectly spooky touch to the season!
Another interesting touch here is to carve some number of eyes other than the traditional two one large eye sometimes makes a very nice design. Three can work well too with certain pumpkins.

5. Choose a design for your pumpkins that reflects who your family is: instead of carving a face, why not carve the first letter of your family s last name into your pumpkin, a family crest if you have one or a pet s name?

6. Use smaller pumpkins as candle holders: carve out several miniature pumpkins where the stem would be and insert tall candles there, then carve designs into the skins of these pumpkins.

7. To get more light from your pumpkin, start with an uncarved pumpkin, cut out a hole in the bottom that ll be big enough to fit your hand in and clean out the pumpkin. Drill evenly-spaced holes across the pumpkin, in lines, facial shapes, random designs or other interesting configurations. Put a string of 50 white Christmas lights inside the pumpkin and push the bulbs, one at a time, out of each hole. Plug in and enjoy!

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8. Make pumpkin seeds.
Remove all the seeds from your pumpkin
Wash them well with cold water. Remove as much of the pumpkin s stringy insides as possible
Preheat your oven to 350 degrees
Pat seeds dry
Mix about two tablespoons of vegetable oil with your seeds until they re all covered; add salt to taste
Spread seeds out on a baking sheet in a single layer
Bake for ten to 15 minutes, until the seeds are golden brown.

Enjoy!

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What Good Is a Resume, Really?

 by: Marilyn J. Tellez, M.A.

I find that most people are convinced that a resume is a necessary part of the job search, especially if an employer says so. Tain’t necessarily so!

Often an employer wants a resume because they don’t really know what the job entails. They want a recital of what the job seeker knows or doesn’t know about the job in question, without factoring in the personal about a real, live human being! The resume gives both parties something to go on, at least on paper.

If the resume doesn’t meet the elemental needs of the employer, it gets tossed!

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So, what good is a resume? It is good to get the job seekers skills, education and experience in a format that is condensed, thus making it a longer version of a “calling card”.

Where the resume falls down as a great way to get a job is that it gives away all of your assets, before you have done your research about the company and the job. It’s almost like having a winning poker hand, but giving away your possible win, by betting in haste.

Often, it is a better strategy in the job search, to ask if you can present the resume during the interview, or to write an inquiry letter to get you in the door and a possible interview.

Resumes are dead trees, in my opinion. ALWAYS, the best strategy is to use a personal avenue to get to see the employer in person, then leave the resume behind. Ask, if you can do that! Better that, than to send one in that gets to the bottom of that file 13.

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About The Author c, 2004-05 Marilyn J. Tellez, M.A. Certified Job & Career Transition Coach O.K. You might feel contented to inspect the consequent paragraphs. If you continue reading, we guarantee that your interest in this would intensify. Email: doitnow@nwinfo.net Web: www.doitnowcareers.info

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Groups

 by: Jacob Jacobsen

YOUR GUIDE TO HIGH SCHOOL SOCIAL GROUPS

AS OF 2004

Intro: This guide will attempt to classify and organize ALL High School social groups in an organized, encyclopedic manner. They are listed in order alphabetically, following with a summary and description of all physical, mental, monetary and other such traits. Also what will be found is references to groups that may fit under more than one group and/or mixes of groups. As is follows:

Average People

Average people are obviously average in most or all aspects of their overall appearance and manner. They are neither rich nor poor, cool nor uncool, etc. Average grades in school work are another obvious trait. So all in all, average people are average.

Gangsters

Gangsters are gangsters. They hang out all grouped together, wearing the same colors, blue or red most prominently. There are also wannabe gangsters and stoner gangsters.

Goths

“Goths”, short for the people who dress and act gothic, are people who do just that, dress and act gothic. Obvious traits are spikes, chains, studs etc., all or mostly black clothing and other dark fashions, and pale skin in some cases. Wannabe and stoner goths also exist.

Hicks/Hillbillies

Hicks, also known as hillbillies, are mostly the people who openly like country music, live/work on a farm, wear hick type clothing like tight pants, truck driver hats, and shirts that say things like “Joe Bob’s Towing Company” or “Jimmy’s Welding”. Other such traits may include the possesion of a big ol’ truck or other beat up, dirty vehicle that could be used on a farm or out in the country. Stoner hicks are also present.

Jocks

Jocks are those that are into sports, obviously. They are on all of the teams every year and think they’re all bad and stuff. Sports most associated with jocks in order from greatest to least are: Football, Basketball, Baseball, Soccer, Tennis, etc.

Losers

See “Not Smart Nerds”

Nerds

Nerds. Wow. Nerds are usually considered as socially inept. There are two main types of nerds: Smart ones and Not Smart ones.

Smart Nerds

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Smart nerds are just that, socially inept losers who are accademically superior to most around them. Sometimes the social clumsiness is caused from the pressure of being smarter than others. Other times, they just don’t know how to talk with a lot of people and would rather just hang out with their good friends.

Not Smart Nerds

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Not smart nerds consist of just that, people who are considered low on the foodchain, unpopular, weak, and otherwise small and insignificant and are not accademically superior to many.

Preps

Preps are the elite of the elite. They are all rich and think their better than everybody. Most are found in groups and teams such as: Cheerleaders, and Football players(which can also be construde as jocks) and other such things as the student body organizations and other stuff like that.

Psychos

Psychos are those people that sit all by themselves at lunch and plot world domination and other freaky stuff. Some also literally have mental or social problems and could kill you for the smallest thing. So that’s why they are psychos.

Punks

Punks are just those people who aren’t stoners or gangsters, but they just aren’t going anywhere in life and get in trouble for stuff like lifting cars and doing graffiti and other vandalsim and theft.

Rockers

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Rockers evolved from wannabe goths. They’re the people who if you call ‘em goths they get all pissed off. They dress in black and spikes and stuff too, but they’re just called “rockers” instead. No one knows why.

Skaters

Skaters are obviously skaters. Skateboarders that is. No one roller blades anymore it seems like so the Skaters category is made up of a majority of skateboarders. Most noticeable trait: T-shirt, hat, sweatshirts etc. covered with a skate brand logo.

“Special” People

Literally special people are the people who are in the Special Education program.

Stoners

Drug users.

Wannabes

Wannabes come in a variety of shapes and sizes but are just weenies who pretend to be what they’re not. Another term that seemed to be started by skaters referring to wannabe skaters is “posers”. There are wannabes for just about every group imaginable.

About The Author Jacob Jacobsen - Lives in a dark basement in New Hampshire.

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Unfortunately, most people will never develop a strong future vision for their lives. They will never admit to themselves, or anyone else, what their dreams really are, and they won’t put a deadline on those dreams and transform them into goals. Thus, most people will never even begin to harness their true potential. What they don’t realize is if they are not focused on their futures - if they are not consciously creating their lives - then they are living accidentally, not intentionally. They are merely reacting to life. When you have faith in your future vision, it creates resilience: when things do not go your way, you will be able to pick yourself up because your future vision will be stronger than your setbacks. Doing the particular things you need to do to move toward that future vision will become automatic, a habit. It is close to the certainty of religious faith - the comforting, assuring feeling that whatever happens will happen, but in the end, you will succeed. It helps me to surround myself withphotos and reminders which keep my future vision and goals on my mind. This is another simple yet powerful strategy. Remember that everything we experience in the ‘real world’ is merely an external manifestation of what has already happened in your mind. That is where the relatively well known maxim, “If your mind can conceive it, you can achieve it” comes from. And it is true. In your mind , you see, anything is possible. So nourish your mind with postivie uplifting images it’s worked wonders for me!

About the Author

James Winston-Motivational Counselor
http://getfit.blogspot.com

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Obtaining An Online Bachelor Degree

 by: Bob Hett

If asked, most people would say that they would like to have a Bachelor degree. Having a Bachelor s degree could make a real difference in the lives of many people. However, most people have a job, and taking the time off from their work is not a possibility to attend a traditional college or university. The classes at a traditional college are usually not conducive to working full-time. But times, they are changing. With non-traditional students who want to obtain a degree making their voices heard, colleges and universities are hearing this and responding to it by providing various types of online instruction. While it is a way for colleges to have more money, it is the perfect way for someone to earn an online Bachelor s degree.

The most important aspect of earning an online degree is making sure that the degree is form an accredited college. If it is not accredited, it is not worth the paper it is printed on. Accreditation means that the school is recognized as an institution that provides classes and degrees based on certain curriculum, and that it is similar to the programs at other schools. Finding out if the school where you wish to obtain an online degree is accredited is the first step and the most vital step in the online degree process.

It is possible to get an online Bachelor s degree is a variety of subjects. Requesting information from several schools will assure you that you find the best online program for you. You can also get financial aid at many of these schools, so make sure you investigate that option. Many of these online universities offer advice on career planning after you finish your degree, too.

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There are tons of advantages to getting an online Bachelor s degree through distance learning. There is no commuting in traffic and then trying finding parking spaces in overcrowded lots. You can arrange your class schedule around your life, instead of trying to arrange your life around your class schedule. Convenience and flexibility are perhaps the greatest assets of online learning. You still get to interact with teachers and other students, and can access the resources of the school through the Internet.

Getting an online Bachelor s degree can be the first step in getting a better and job and making more money. You can improve the quality of your life and have more leisure time. Since more and more people are expressing interest in this option, it is probably going to be a very accepted way to earn a degree in the future. The world is always changing, and this is just another way that education is changing with it. Getting a Bachelor s degree has become a lot easier for many of those people who thought it was out of their reach until now.

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About The Author Completely admissible! Further parts of the article could be a fun to the connoisseur. Your hankering for facts will get quenched in the consequent lines. Bob Hett offers great tips and advice regarding all aspects concerning Online Degrees. Get the information you are seeking now by visiting http://www.onlinedegreesreview.info.

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When the Teacher Becomes the Student

 by: Joseph Martin

A relationship expert once said that during an argument, there s usually three sides to every story: his side, her side, and of course, the truth.

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This is something we must definitely keep in mind as teachers. As educators (especially professors), we have been accused of having the biggest egos on this side of Mount Rushmore. One of the quickest ways to burn out in education is to refuse to embrace change. Whether we want to admit it or not, life moves and changes constantly.

Students are constantly exposed to material we once never dreamed existed. Ironically, although students are exposed to more, they typically know less and are less mature than the generations before. However, that does not discredit the fact that students still bring a unique perspective to our classroom; it s through their eyes that we can become better teachers.

One of my best strategies for maintaining a high level of motivation in the classroom came as a result of a technique I learned as a stockbroker and sales trainer. Rule #1 in sales is that in order to bring the customer to where you are (your level of understanding), you must first go to where they are (they re current level of understanding). In simple terms, you must know your customer (in this case, your student). This simple principle recharges and rejuvenates my batteries every semester; because the more I know, the more I grow.

Relating this concept to the education arena, you must simply and clearly define your objectives and what you would like to see happen over the course of a semester (or even a brief interaction) with a student, and then you help your students to do the same. In other words, know where YOU want to go, help them find out where THEY want to go, and then come up with a strategy for both of you to get there. In negotiating terms, they call this a win-win solution. Obviously, this strategy can only work if you value the student, and you believe he or she can make you a better teacher.

For instance, during my first three years in education, I quickly realized that what I wanted and what students believe they needed were diametrically opposed to each other. However, after many personal talks with former students, I soon discovered that students weren t as concerned with the subject matter itself as they were with how the subject matter was being taught. They were more concerned with my attitude than the answers I would give them. This was a revelation.

I came to the conclusion that, like a parent, my experience and education dictated that I was qualified to teach them what they needed to know to succeed. However, when it came to how they received the information, I was totally at their mercy. Because, regardless of how good or important the subject matter is, if no one is listening, then no one is learning. It was at that point that I decided to go to where they were in order to bring them to where I was.

I met individually and collectively with students to get their perspectives on the class. I asked them about what worked in class and what didn t? I asked them about what they would like to see more or less of? What would they like to see changed (about myself and/or the class)? I asked them if whether or not they would recommend this class to another student, why or why not? I asked them what would make the class more productive and more interesting? These questions can be asked in almost any work environment, for almost any department, not just in the classroom. I asked similar questions of my clients when I was in Corporate America.

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All of the input I received, except for the individual meetings, were done anonymously. I can t begin to tell you how important this information has been to my career. But in less than a year after implementing this idea, I was nominated twice for the distinguished teaching award at my school (the youngest ever nominated).

If you want to become a more productive educator in or outside of the classroom, the key is student input you must seek it. They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again, but expecting different results. If you listen to and solicit feedback from your students, you won t have to repeat the mistakes of the past. So value your students and their input; trust me, they hold the keys to your success.

About The Author O.K. You could feel satisfied to scrutinize the following paragraphs. Your nose for news would get a surprise in the statements that follow. Dr. Joe Martin is an award-winning speaker, author, professor, and educational consultant and owner of New Teacher Success. Visit http://www.newteachersuccess.com today! jmartin@rwuniversity.com

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When we do something we love, again and again, our life comes to hold the fragrance of that thing. ~ Wayne Mullen

Cold air slips through the cracks in my doorway and around my windows. My cats lie curled up in balls; asleep on plump pillows. They hibernate most days now and only awaken from their dreamy slumbers for bites of kibble. They are unaware of our troops in the Middle East or our economy problems here at home.

What sustains you during tough times? Do you have a network of support? What are the things that comfort you when life seems to be filling your plate with more of the things you find unappetizing? Now is the perfect time to focus on simple daily rituals and pleasures as we live through more turbulent days ahead. Let’s call these, recipes for rapture.

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Every good recipe must include the right ingredients. Perhaps, it’s buying flowers each week to put in your home or, on your desk at work. Most grocery stores have flowers available and you can include these weekly flowers as part of the menu for “feeding” your spirit. Maybe, it’s taking a break from watching the news or reading the newspaper. Instead, listen to some music that you find particularly soothing. Try keeping a dream journal to capture your dreams or create a personal altar in the corner of a room. You can mix and match ‘ingredients’ according to your particular taste. The key is to create a recipe that is authentically soul-satisfying to you. For me, its cups of tea, a daily walk, and watching birds at my window feeder.

Or, be like cats. Take long naps. Choose the most comfortable and warmest of spots; preferably in sunshine and curled up next to someone. Stretch daily and, when it’s warm enough, go outside for a little fresh air. Watch birds for entertainment. Play everyday. Make sure you have lots of toys available. Get a good cat scratch especially along the back.

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To create a ‘purrrrfect’ life fill yours with plenty of simple pleasures and daily rituals that bring you comfort and joy.

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About the Author

Nancy Bishop is a Life Coach, Writer and Speaker. She blends her passion for tea with life coaching to help busy women catch their breath and connect with their heart to restore balance naturally. For more information, or, to subscribe to her free monthly newsletter, visit her website at www.yourlifeyourway.com.

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Do You Have A Burning Desire Or Calling?

When you think about work do you think in terms of “burning desire” or
“calling?” What is a burning desire to do this one thing you believe
you were meant to do. What is a calling? Do you feel inside of you that
there is a place that just is telling you that this is the way to
walk?

This is your purpose. Then you are blessed for many this never

happens. I think to have a burning desire is to steadfastly move in a

certain direction not knowing many times where you are going to end up

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but knowing this is the path you should take. The more other’s pooh and

pah your desires the more resolute you become to travel your path.

What a marvelous blessing this is to be called, it does not have to be

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to greatness or fame. It may be a really humble job, or to volunteer,

go to the peace corps. But it is the place you know you want to go and

that it is right for you. You hear within you this voice urging you on.

You feel comfortable about following that voice. You know it is right.

I think it possible to have more than one calling in life. Some think
you came into this world with one purpose. My experience has been that

when I was younger having a job that paid the bills was perfectly
alright. As long as I could pay the bills and have some nice things in

life I was modestly happy.

Then came my first calling. I heard that small voice inside of me say

what are you good at. I thought talking to people, listening, accepting

people where they are. So my burning desire became being a counselor.

This took going back to school at a late age in life. It took lots of

starts and stops until I could believe it could happen. However, I

became a counselor and was very happy in this position in life for
twenty or more years. I felt I had found my purpose.
Then I had another calling it was to be a writer and a publisher.

I am in the middle of following that calling now. I am a publisher
and a writer. I write everyday. I publish daily, and I earn my living
this way now. Why do I say I am right in the middle of that calling

because each day the calling becomes more of a burning desire. I have
not come to the end of this journey by any means. As I travel this path

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I feel that I am helping others so I find purpose in doing this
calling. But I know there is more. I can bring more of myself to my
writing. I can bring more of myself by improving my ezine. I say to my

Higher Power how can I serve? He replies how can I serve you.

About the Author

About the author: Judi Singleton is the publisher of Jassmine’s Journal

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Narcissists invariably react with narcissistic rage to narcissistic injury.

These two terms bear clarification:

Narcissistic injury

Any threat (real or imagined) to the narcissist’s grandiose and fantastic self-perception (False Self) as perfect, omnipotent, omniscient, and entitled to special treatment and recognition, regardless of his actual accomplishments (or lack thereof).

The narcissist actively solicits narcissistic supply - adulation, compliments, admiration, subservience, attention, being feared - from others in order to sustain his fragile and dysfunctional ego. Thus, he constantly courts possible rejection, criticism, disagreement, and even mockery.

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The narcissist is, therefore, dependent on other people. He is aware of the risks associated with such all-pervasive and essential dependence. He resents his weakness and dreads possible disruptions in the flow of his drug - narcissistic supply. He is caught between the rock of his habit and the hard place of his frustration. No wonder he is prone to raging, lashing and acting out, and to pathological, all-consuming envy (all expressions of pent-up aggression).

The narcissist is constantly on the lookout for slights. He is hypervigilant. He perceives every disagreement as criticism and every critical remark as complete and humiliating rejection nothing short of a threat. Gradually, his mind turns into a chaotic battlefield of paranoia and ideas of reference.

Most narcissists react defensively. They become conspicuously indignant, aggressive, and cold. They detach emotionally for fear of yet another (narcissistic) injury. They devalue the person who made the disparaging remark, the critical comment, the unflattering observation, the innocuous joke at the narcissist’s expense.

By holding the critic in contempt, by diminishing the stature of the discordant conversant the narcissist minimises the impact of the disagreement or criticism on himself. This is a defence mechanism known as cognitive dissonance.

Narcissistic Rage

Narcissists can be imperturbable, resilient to stress, and sangfroid. Narcissistic rage is not a reaction to stress - it is a reaction to a perceived slight, insult, criticism, or disagreement (in other words, to narcissistic injury). It is intense and disproportional to the “offence”.
Raging narcissists usually perceive their reaction to have been triggered by an intentional provocation with a hostile purpose. Their targets, on the other hand, invariably regard raging narcissists as incoherent, unjust, and arbitrary.

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Narcissistic rage should not be confused with anger, though they have many things in common.

It is not clear whether action diminishes anger or anger is used up in action - but anger in healthy persons is diminished through action and expression. It is an aversive, unpleasant emotion. It is intended to generate action in order to reduce frustration. Anger is coupled with physiological arousal.

Another enigma is:

Do we become angry because we say that we are angry, thus identifying the anger and capturing it or do we say that we are angry because we are angry to begin with?

Anger is provoked by adverse treatment, deliberately or unintentionally inflicted. Such treatment must violate either prevailing conventions regarding social interactions or some otherwise a deeply ingrained sense of what is fair and what is just. The judgment of fairness or justice is a cognitive function impaired in the narcissist.

Anger is induced by numerous factors. It is almost a universal reaction. Any threat to one’s welfare (physical, emotional, social, financial, or mental) is met with anger. So are threats to one’s affiliates, nearest, dearest, nation, favourite football club, pet and so on. The territory of anger includes not only the angry person himself, but also his real and perceived environment and social milieu.

Threats are not the only situations to incite anger. Anger is also the reaction to injustice (perceived or real), to disagreements, and to inconvenience (discomfort) caused by dysfunction.

Still, all manner of angry people - narcissists or not - suffer from a cognitive deficit and are worried and anxious. They are unable to conceptualize, to design effective strategies, and to execute them. They dedicate all their attention to the here and now and ignore the future consequences of their actions. Recent events are judged more relevant and weighted more heavily than any earlier ones. Anger impairs cognition, including the proper perception of time and space.

In all people, narcissists and normal, anger is associated with a suspension of empathy. Irritated people cannot empathise. Actually, “counter-empathy” develops in a state of aggravated anger. The faculties of judgment and risk evaluation are also altered by anger. Later provocative acts are judged to be more serious than earlier ones just by “virtue” of their chronological position.

Yet, normal anger results in taking some action regarding the source of frustration (or, at the very least, the planning or contemplation of such action). In contrast, pathological rage is mostly directed at oneself, displaced, or even lacks a target altogether.

Narcissists often vent their anger at “insignificant” people. They yell at a waitress, berate a taxi driver, or publicly chide an underling. Alternatively, they sulk, feel anhedonic or pathologically bored, drink, or do drugs all forms of self-directed aggression.

From time to time, no longer able to pretend and to suppress their rage, they have it out with the real source of their anger. Then they lose all vestiges of self-control and rave like lunatics. They shout incoherently, make absurd accusations, distort facts, and air long-suppressed grievances, allegations and suspicions.

These episodes are followed by periods of saccharine sentimentality and excessive flattering and submissiveness towards the victim of the latest rage attack. Driven by the mortal fear of being abandoned or ignored, the narcissist repulsively debases and demeans himself.

Most narcissists are prone to be angry. Their anger is always sudden, raging, frightening and without an apparent provocation by an outside agent. It would seem that narcissists are in a CONSTANT state of rage, which is effectively controlled most of the time. It manifests itself only when the narcissist’s defenses are down, incapacitated, or adversely affected by circumstances, inner or external.

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Pathological anger is neither coherent, not externally induced. It emanates from the inside and it is diffuse, directed at the “world” and at “injustice” in general. The narcissist is capable of identifying the IMMEDIATE cause of his fury. Still, upon closer scrutiny, the cause is likely to be found lacking and the anger excessive, disproportionate, and incoherent.

It might be more accurate to say that the narcissist is expressing (and experiencing) TWO layers of anger, simultaneously and always. The first layer, of superficial ire, is indeed directed at an identified target, the alleged cause of the eruption. The second layer, however, incorporates the narcissist’s self-aimed wrath.

Narcissistic rage has two forms:

I. Explosive - The narcissist flares up, attacks everyone in his immediate vicinity, causes damage to objects or people, and is verbally and psychologically abusive.

II. Pernicious or Passive-Aggressive (P/A) - the narcissist sulks, gives the silent treatment, and is plotting how to punish the transgressor and put her in her proper place. These narcissists are vindictive and often become stalkers. They harass and haunt the objects of their frustration. They sabotage and damage the work and possessions of people whom they regard to be the sources of their mounting wrath.

About the Author

Sam Vaknin ( http://samvak.tripod.com ) is the author of Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited and After the Rain - How the West Lost the East. He served as a columnist for Central Europe Review, PopMatters, and eBookWeb , and Bellaonline, and as a United Press International (UPI) Senior Business Correspondent. He is the the editor of mental health and Central East Europe categories in The Open Directory and Suite101.

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How To Get Your Kids To Speak Your Language

 by: Frank Gerace

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Note: This experience had to do with preserving Spanish for our kids but the principles are valid for anyone trying to help their kids speak and preserve any language and culture.

COUNTRY OF MANY PEOPLES

This country,,, (The authors raised their kids in the United States but they believe that their experience can be useful for people in other non-spanish-speaking countries.) This country is made up of people from all over the world. We or our parents came from Latin countries. We now live here. We function in two different worlds, the American world and the world of our parents. All of us live in these two different worlds in different ways. Some of us were born in the countries our parents came from; others of us were born here. This makes a difference in how and how much we live in our two worlds.

COUNTRY OF MANY LANGUAGES

The one thing that is most important in our parents’ world is their language which is also ours in different ways. The Spanish language of our parents is an issue to all of us every day. We may be proud to speak it well. We may be ashamed at not speaking it well. Some of us may have gone through periods of trying not to speak it because we wanted to speak English better. We may only speak it when we come across someone who needs help in understanding English. We may only remember some sayings of our grandparents or children’s songs taught to us by our parents.

You may want to review (or study it for the first time) your Spanish. We could only find one reference for you. It is expensive and is a textbook, not too appealing but complete. Take a look at Nuevos Mundos, Spanish for Native Speakers 2nd Edition, Workbook : Curso de espanol para estudiantes bilingues”

F. Bruce Robinson, assistant director in the National Endowment for the Humanities’ division of education programs asks “How does America preserve this important resource of people who are proficient in other languages? Instead of trying to depress the knowledge these students come to school with, we ought to be trying to build on it.” (Chronicle of Higher Education, Feb. 2, 1994, page A15)

OUR CHILDREN AND OUR LANGUAGE

We all want our children to speak the language of their heritage. We discount the opinions of those who say that it is better to forget Spanish and to concentrate on speaking English well. These people are just wrong. It does not hurt your English to speak another language; it helps. Spanish is particularly useful to children in their learning English vocabulary. Just today I taught my daughter the difference between vowels and consonants. Knowing Spanish really helped with the idea of the consonants. I told her that the consonants have no voice; they can only be pronounced with the vowels. The con-sonants suenan con the vowels.

But although most of us agree that it is a good thing for our kids to speak Spanish, most kids in the US whose parents were born in Latin American countries do not speak Spanish well.

Even if both parents speak Spanish at home, quite often the kids answer their parents in English. Look around at your Latin friends and relatives and you will see that most give up on teaching their kids to speak Spanish. Chicano and Puerto Rican families seem to have a little better luck than Latinos from other countries with keeping Spanish alive in their barrios but even their younger generation is losing fluency in Spanish.

However, parents who want their children to speak Spanish can go against the current and set the stage for their children to grow up speaking Spanish. It is not easy. Most families fail in their resolve but it can be done. This report will give some hints on how to improve your chances.

REASONS FOR OUR CHILDREN TO SPEAK SPANISH

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There are many reasons why it is good for the kids to speak your language. One obvious reason is the advantage that it might be for them in the job market. As long as we live in a world with shrunken distances and growing international trade, someone has to be able to talk with people from other countries.

Professor Francisco X. Alarc n of the University of California at Davis says that “now that we are moving toward a global economy, it’s O.K. to be bilingual in the U.S.” (Chronicle of Higher Education, Feb.2, 1994, page A15)

Another good reason for you to work at your children’s learning to speak Spanish is because it will make you proud to hear the compliments of your friends and countrymen because your children are able to speak your language. You grow in prestige as a person who values your roots.

Your children will also be able to speak with their relatives thanks to improved phone service which is entering the most remote villages of our countries. Direct dialing from the United States is economical enough to be able call a few times a year. The thrill of being able to talk to their uncles, aunts, and cousins will get the kids interested in keeping up their language.

They will be speaking to their relatives not only by phone but will be able to visit them. The experience of knowing another culture will put them ahead of their classmates who have no ties to their roots.

Another reason to encourage our children to speak Spanish can be gotten from the history of a previous group of Latin immigrants to the United States, the Italians.

“Some social critics were aware of the consequences of sudden assimilation. Mary McDowell, a social worker, wrote en 1904:

‘The contempt for the experiences and languages of their parents which foreign children sometimes exhibit… is doubtless due in part to the overestimation which the school places upon speaking English. This cutting into his family loyalty takes away one of the most conspicuous and valuable traits of the Italian child.’ She attributed the lawlessness of some of the immigrant children to their disrespect for their parents and therefore for all authority.”

(La Storia: Five Centuries of the Italian American Experience, Mangione and Morreale, p. 222)

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Finally, the ability to speak another language can be a great boost to a child’s self esteem. If the child’s parents make it clear that they are proud of their language and of their people, the child will feel closer to his parents and to their heritage, customs, and most importantly to their values.

HOW TO ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILDREN TO SPEAK SPANISH

Start early. Try to speak only Spanish to the child. If only one parent speaks Spanish well, that person should always speak Spanish with the child. Do not be afraid of “confusing” the child. Children can identify with different speakers of different languages as they grow up.

1. Read simple stories and fairy tales to the child in Spanish. if you can’t find children’s literature in Spanish, then make your own translations as you go along. It is not necessary that the translation be perfect. Make up your own stories. It is important for your child to have the memories of hearing nursery rhymes in Spanish.

2. Leave your radio tuned de Spanish language stations. Linguists place a great deal of importance on “passive listening” as part of learning a language, especially for young children.

3. In most areas there is a Spanish language TV station. Put on the Saturday morning cartoons in Spanish.

4. Teach simple nursery rhymes and simple songs to your child. If you don’t remember them or if you were not taught any from your parents’ traditions, look for them in garage sales, college bookstores, or your local library. Do you remember el patito or pinp n? Look for songs in Spanish.

5. Rent videos in Spanish. They are beginning to be available - and not only in cities with a big Spanish-speaking population!

6. Use proverbs and dichos in Spanish. Some expressions that you would say in English are just as legitimate proverbs in Spanish. Get your child used to hearing them in Spanish. You can do this even if you don’t speak Spanish well. For example, say mejor tarde que nunca instead of “better late than never”. Little by little, poco a poco, you’ll feel at home with more uniquely Latin expressions. They have something of the culture wrapped up in them. They are stubbornly different from Anglo Saxon proverbs.

7. Get used to saying menos mal in place of “just as well”. The English expression is “better than nothing”; in many Southamerican countries, the equivalent expression is peor es nada. Find proverbs.

8. Don’t correct their Spanish when they speak. Don’t interrupt the flow of their conversation. Don’t make their speaking Spanish to be another homework assignment. It should be something special, even something “secret” in your family. Kids like the mystery and intrigue of having something special of their own. Their speaking Spanish should be a joyful, non-threatening experience. If they make mistakes in their grammar, correct their errors by using the same expression correctly a few minutes after. Don’t come right back at them with the correct form or they will begin to feel conscious of their expression and choke off their freedom of expression.

9. Get a good syllabary to teach them the value of the letters and how to read in Spanish. If your child’s first language is Spanish teach them to read Spanish before they learn English. You will be doing them a big favor. They will learn to sound out the regular spelling of Spanish which will be a good base on which to learn how to read in English. You will get the same results as those who spend money on expensive Phonics programs.

10. The best way to get your children to grow in Spanish is to send them to spend some time with relatives or friends where they will only speak and hear Spanish. This works best at around 7 years old when children play easily with one another and when Spanish will just come naturally even to the child who has very little exposure to the language. Another good age for a child to be exposed to a Spanish speaking environment is at around 12 years old. At this age, the child has greater mental development and can observe customs and situations in which certain expressions are used. At twelve years old most kids are still pre-adolescents and are not hampered by the embarrassment, self consciousness, and “feeling different” which hold back teenagers from learning a language or customs different from their own.

Use any of the above methods but start! Your efforts will communciate to your children the importance that you give to Spanish even if these efforts are not always completely successful.

©1994 F.GERACE

About The Author Frank Gerace Ph.D has lived and worked in Latin America on Educational and Communication Projects. He currently teaches English in New York City at La Guardia College/CUNY. He provides help to parents wanting to have their children speak Spanish at: http://www.bookslibros.com/SpanishForNinos.htm.

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